Alright, so I actually went to see Alone in the Dark on opening day. I couldn't help but notice that there were only 3 other people in the theatre besides me and a few of my friends. At first I felt bad because me and my friends were laughing, and I thought that might be anoying the only other 3 people in the theatre. Then I realised that they are probably sleeping anyway... Beware of spoilers The movie starts out with a 10 minute scrolling text explaining the movie, alone with a very anoying voice over. I had my first laugh right there. Then the first scene in the movie is a cab chase where Christian Slater is being followed by another cab. Eventually the cab catches up and crashes into Christians cab. I'll refer to him as Carnby from now on since that is his name in the film. Anyway, after the crash Carnby's cab driver looks pretty beaten up, and the other cab is backing up for another hit. Now listen to this. Carnby tells his driver to "stay there!" and jumps out of the window in some slow motion martial artsy type of way while just letting the cab get run into again! Some guy he is! Then we see a lame ass fight scene with Carnby and the possesed cab driver in some back ally of some city which is never named. A city which boll seems to like a lot, considdering how many shots of it he took from above. Anyway during this fight we see Carnby fire a shot at the bad guy and (WHAT?!) it doesnt phase him. Then we see another bullet time shot to the heart, and of course it doesnt do anything. I did like the bullet time though, it was a step up from the one in House of the dead. He kills the guy by impaling him with some metal rod, and I remember my friends and I saying how we wouldnt be surprised if he got up again. Lets just say that the movie is pretty much downhill from here. It's very hard for me to explain the rest of the movie because it didn't make very much sense. I will just run through it for you. A box is on a boat and it is probably being shipped to the museum Tara Reids character is working. The people on the boat open it and it unleashes a monster. Later in the movie we have some wacko scientist that yells at Tara for letting them open the box. I don't know how he got the idea she did it because she wasnt on the boat, and she didnt directly say to open the box. Whatever. This movie sucks. I liked the effects somewhat, and thats all. Tara Reid sounded like she was reading from a cue card. Christian Slater had this confused face on the whole time..... I'm sorry but I am getting a migrain talking about this so called movie. The worst part I have to say is the plot, followed by the acting, followed by everything else. I somewhat enjoyed it because I was laughing the whole time. I am gonna buy it just for laughs. Sorry this wasnt a good review but you get the point. If you ever want to talk to me about it feel free. I'll ramble on to you about everything you want to hear.