Most insane Kung-Fu movies?

Discussion in 'Asian Horror and Other Pleasures' started by KR~!, Mar 12, 2004.

  1. KR~!

    KR~! The Apocalyptic Kid

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    What are in your opinion the most insane Kung-Fu movies ever made, I mean really over the top super fake stuff, aka Wire Fu aka Wuxia Pien.

    Here is my list :

    Duel to the Death (1983)
    Jade Dagger Ninja (1982)
    Zu: Warriors from the Magic Mountain (1983)
    Ninja: The Final Duel (1986)
    Story of Ricky (1992)
    Kung Fu Cult Master (1993)
    Legend of Zu (2001)


    websites :

    http://www.kfccinema.com
    http://www.kungfucinema.com
    http://www.badmovies.org
     
  2. 2D4EVER

    2D4EVER Guest

    Everyone must see Master of the Flying Guillotine.
     
  3. BloodMan

    BloodMan Kill Time B4 It Kills You

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    Return of the Five Deadly Venoms
    Triple Irons - The New One Armed Swordsman
    Oath of Death
    The Boxer's Omen
    Venus The Ninja
    :)
     
  4. Nemesis

    Nemesis Guest

    almost any of jet li's earlier films
     
  5. X-human

    X-human I ate my keys

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    Heroic Trio is the strangest one I've seen.
     
  6. speanroc

    speanroc I WANNA BAN

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    super kungfu kid
     
  7. KR~!

    KR~! The Apocalyptic Kid

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  8. Hellbilly

    Hellbilly Active Member

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    Kung Pow: Enter The Fist ;)
     
  9. moogong

    moogong Arte Suave

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    Five Deadly Venoms and Shaolin Soccer are two of my faves.
     
  10. thrashard76

    thrashard76 Guest

    I'd say The Story Of Ricky though I haven't seen much. How is Duel to the Death? The trailer on Tokyo Shock's Ricky DVD looked cool.
     
  11. DeathDealer

    DeathDealer I Inhale Horror

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    Killing Machine - Any Film With Sonny Chiba Feeding A Willie To A Dog Is Crazy.
     
  12. Erg0n

    Erg0n My Baby Picture

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    Dragon Inn comes to mind. that last fight scene is classic.
     
  13. wizzer

    wizzer get outta here ewe

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    this is one of the only kung fu movies i've ever watched all the way through :lol:
     
  14. Atmims

    Atmims Guest

    What is the one where a dude gets socked right in the balls and "egg yolk" runs down his legs? That's the only scene I really remember from the movie.
     
  15. betterdan

    betterdan Guest

    This movie is out on dvd. Diamond put it out and I found it at Suncoast for $5.99.
     
  16. KR~!

    KR~! The Apocalyptic Kid

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    Handicapable ;)

    I have to get that, I only remember watching it as a kid. I have gotten most of the Kung-Fu movies that I loved as a kid on DVD and others that I missed as well as new ones. The weirder they are the better :D
     
  17. Andrew

    Andrew Guest

    Man, I've wanted to see CRIPPLED MASTERS for years. I dunno about the Diamond disc, but Brentwood put out a 4-pack that includes it (for $5.99).

    [​IMG]
     
  18. KR~!

    KR~! The Apocalyptic Kid

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    For that you might as well get this box set :

    [​IMG]

    Studio: Bci Eclipse Company
    DVD Release Date: December 3, 2002
    Number of discs: 5

    List Price: $19.98
    Amazon Price: $17.98

    Review :

    4 out of 5 Stars

    HI-YAAAAHHH!!! Prepare for a cheesy attack!, March 9, 2004
    Reviewer: sparkspunk (see more about me) from Sparks, NV United States


    OK another Brentwood 10-movie, 5-disc set. You know what to expect: no frills versions of movies, not great quality but it's cheap, right? At least with Tough Guys of Kung Fu, most of these movies are straight from the martial arts ghetto, so you're not really losing anything here in terms of quality. From worst to best (I guess?!?):

    (10) Rage of the Dragon. I can find very little to recommend this movie, with the exception of the brightly colored costumes. Oh yeah, when the main guy fights, instead of the usual cheesy dubbed in sound effects, there are very cheesy bleeping electronic effects. Enjoy.

    (9) Militant Eagle. The beggar kids that followed the hero around were pretty funny. Other than that, this one was extremely boring until it got to the last couple of scenes. There were some really weird-looking opponents at the end, namely a big ogre-looking dude with a spiked club and a strange hermaphrodite (???) or eunuch person. I liked the last 15 minutes quite a bit, the rest of the movie, eh!

    (8) Golden Dragon Silver Snake. Pretty standard Kung Fu Theater type material, the saving grace on this one is the humor. Lots of corny dialogue and the highlights include some egg fighting and some acoustic guitar-fu. Ridiculous.

    (7) Fists of Bruce Lee. Bruce Lee had nothing at all to do with this, unless you count the resemblance of the lead actor to Bruce Lee for exploitation purposes. Lots of "borrowed" music: any movie that uses a crappy cover of Average White Band's "Pick Up the Pieces" as the theme song is OK by me. Undercover cop antics means fighting lots of people with weird hair.

    (6) Dragon on Fire. More of the expected nuttiness, this time with a white-faced guy in a wheelchair as the main villain. It really gets going at the end when the wheelchair guy starts fighting. Hey the "Crippled Masters" would have killed 'im! HAHAHA!!!!

    (5) Ninja Turf. Really bad 1980's Golan/Globus style martial arts nonsense. I would describe the idea as a cross between the 80's Ninja movies and "Tuff Turf." There are no ninjas in it, by the way, but there is one scene with breakdancing. Threadbare plot concerning a security agency that ends up fighting every gang in the L.A. area, apparently. Corny and terrible action scenes, at least there were a lot of them. I liked it because it was the only film in the set that was made in the U.S., so it stood out from the others. And it was bad enough to be really entertaining.

    (4) Tattoo Collection. It's actually "Tattoo Connection" according to the movie itself, but I kind of like the misprinted title. It stars Jim Kelly, famous for "Black Belt Jones" and his supporting role in "Enter the Dragon." He brings a 70's blaxploitation sensibility to the table, which results in great lines like, "I've been known to be called the black six million dollar man!" Also, it is my well-researched opinion that "bast**d" is the most commonly used word in kung fu movies. Tattoo Connection uses this word more than any other movie I have seen, someone even calls a girl a bast**d! Check it out.

    (3) Deadly Kick. I don't know anything about the people who did this movie, but it sure was entertaining. 2 kung fu experts trained by the same master go up against a syndicate bent on mass destruction. Some real weird scenes at times, especially the guy fighting with the blind girl. Tarantino should plagiarize this scene for his next Kill Bill sequel.

    (2) Killing Machine. Hey it's Sonny Chiba, the best actor in martial arts, ever. He would be tough if he never lifted a finger. He lifts many fingers here as a Japanese WW2 vet who fights against Chinese oppression after the war. Bloody as hell. This made me want to get the 10-movie Sonny Chiba pack, AAGGHH the addiction continues.... So why is Sonny Chiba so cool? I think it's those eyebrows. I wish I had tough lookin eyebrows like that.

    (1) The Crippled Masters. OK it was a great concept...dude gets his arms chopped off by an evil guy, then the same evil guy burns another guy's legs with acid and beats them until they look like last week's KFC. The twist here is that both actors are actually disfigured and they fight like there was no tomorrow. You have not lived until you see an armless man spinning a spear crazily around his head. This movie was unbelievable and I applaud both fighters who played the Crippled Masters. Brilliant stuff. Contains the great line, "If I am a ghost, would I be eating pig swill?"

    So to sum it up, if you don't demand a large budget for your movies, and if you like kung fu, you are a prime candidate for this affordable 10-movie set. If you break down the price, you are paying less than the cost of a movie rental to actually own each movie. Killing Machine and The Crippled Masters alone make the set well worth it.
     
  19. betterdan

    betterdan Guest

    Ok here is the front and back of the Diamond disc cover. The transfer is actually pretty damn good.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 15, 2004
  20. X-human

    X-human I ate my keys

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    Holy shit I already own Crippled Masters, it's on my Fists of Fire boxset with all of Sonny Chiba's Street Fighters and I hadn't gotten to it yet. I'll have to check it out. The rest of the Street Fighter series was widescreen and some pretty damn good prints, so I hope this'll be a good one too.
     

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