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mcchrist
03-21-2003, 04:23 PM
GOD OF COOKERY (1996)
Directed by: Stephen Chow & Lik-Chi Lee
Starring: Stephen Chow

The opening greets us with mystery and intrigue as we are introduced to the world’s greatest chef, The God of Cookery – Stephen Chow. He represents all taste and skill in the culinary arts, and shows us why as he brutally judges chefs from all over the world in a cooking competition. His commentary is brutal and leaves all in his wake drowning in tears as he shreds them greater than anything that asshole Simon from American Idol could accomplish.

We soon learn that Chow is not only the world’s greatest chef, but also a high commodity in the business world. Owning his own chain of stores, packaged food, and other such ventures. Instead of wearing gold as we would expect by this time, you see him prancing around his penthouse office wearing boxers, sunglasses, and smoking fine cigars. He is cruel to his employees and finds delight in humiliating them in front of large groups.

But there is treachery afoot as we find that some people very close to him are plotting to take the God of Cookery down. And we soon find that his new prodigy is more than he seems, revealing himself to be a super chef transforming into his super chef costume ala something you’d see out of Dragonball Z or some other anime.

After being humiliated himself, the God of Cookery is disgraced and is now living on the street. He is rescued by a hideously scarred street vendor Turkey (played by Karen Mok). But it seems Chow has stepped into a war of another kind as Turkey and her gang are constantly at violent battle with other street vendors in the neighborhood.

Chow sees an opportunity to regain his title and brings the gangs together with his ultimate cooking skill, creating a new culinary invention that will become the new taste sensation.

But Chow’s real intentions are getting revenge over those who have done him wrong and intends to beat the super chef Bull Tong at the God of Cookery competition.

Does he succeed?

This is a real treat, in my humble opinion. Stephen Chow is like Jackie Chan, except that he is not afraid of the absurd. Also known for a comparable film with Shaolin Soccer, God of Cookery is in a similar vein creating outrageous slapstick and farce. Basically, imagine if the show Iron Chef was combined with Dragonball Z and you might see where I’m going.

The picture quality is great, as is the audio. The drawback on this disc is basically the features, which is typical of a cheapie Hong Kong disc (Universal Laser& Video Co.). Mainly a trailer or two, and subtitles (which are always badly translated, sometimes laughably so).

Highlights: “Very Delicious!!!” As spoken by a chef who has sampled the cooking of The God of Cookery, screaming the revelation ala Charlton Heston (“Damn you!”)

Highlights: “Elastic Pissing Beef Balls” A food that combines the tenderness of beef and pissing shrimp which is so elastic you can play ping pong with it and so delicious that it can cause you to orgasm.

Highlights: Orgasmic taste sequences: A follow-up to the above highlight. These sequences are about as hilarious as you get. Immediately after eating the God of Cookery’s food, it cuts to scenes of the taster frolicking in slow motion on a beach or screaming uncontrollably with an animated background ala some anime fight sequence.

Highlights: The street vendors. These guys are so rowdy that it always seems like some sort of brawl where knives and cleavers and tables or trash cans start getting tossed around. Sister Turkey goes ballistic on some Hong Kong Triad member with a steel ash-tray/trash can.

Highlights: The Shaolin Kitchen. The world’s greatest kitchen can be found at the Shaolin Monastery, where the skills of cooking are as important as the kung fu. Those who do not respect these ways are repeatedly beaten by the 18 Bronze-Men of Shaolin and dragged away leaving a bloody trail.

Highlights: Wet Dream. That is the name of the most powerful monk at the Shaolin monastery, who seems to be a closet pervert boiling below the surface. The man never walks, he glides.

Highlights: Cooking. The cooking sequences are probably the best aspect of this film. It is less cooking and more martial art. The sound effects when someone is whisking or chopping are similar to the cheesy effects in a kung fu movie, utensils and food become airborne only to fall on the plate perfectly chopped and prepared. By the end, the cooks are using internal skills screaming in some weird stance which causes the flames on the stove to burn much brighter and hotter, and some are even able to cook without the luxury of a stove or fire, cooking an egg on his bare hand. This is the way Iron Chef should be.

For a fan of Iron Chef and old cheesy kung-fu movies, this movie may very well be on of the most fun you’ll ever have. Hell, this movie is silly enough for anyone, and if you’ve ever seen a kung-fu movie before I’d recommend this. Its completely absurd and off the wall, but still remains charming and works within its own logic.

Rating:

Movie: :banana: :banana: :banana: 1/2 out of 5

Disc: :banana: :banana: out of 5 (Not bad for $10 though)

moogong
03-21-2003, 04:44 PM
haha! Nice way to implement the banana rating system.

I give your review :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: outta 5!

Atmims
03-21-2003, 08:13 PM
Thumbs up McChrist for the in depth review, I've found out about some cool movies from this forum and I betcha this will be another cool one. For the price I will definetly check this movie out.

“Elastic Pissing Beef Balls” A food that combines the tenderness of beef and pissing shrimp which is so elastic you can play ping pong with it and so delicious that it can cause you to orgasm."
Mmm. Elastic Pissing Beef Balls. :sperm:

Adrian

DefJeff
03-22-2003, 07:40 AM
wow what a great review MC ... i absolutly need to see this now, its going in my next order definitally.

iits the highlights that sold me

mcchrist
03-22-2003, 07:42 AM
:banana:

rhett
03-22-2003, 03:42 PM
Originally posted by mcchrist
GOD OF COOKERY (1996)
Highlights: Orgasmic taste sequences: A follow-up to the above highlight. These sequences are about as hilarious as you get. Immediately after eating the God of Cookery’s food, it cuts to scenes of the taster frolicking in slow motion on a beach or screaming uncontrollably with an animated background ala some anime fight sequence.
Now that alone has me wanting to see the film! :lol: