View Full Version : McChrist reviews THE UNTITLED STAR WARS MOCKUMENTARY (2003)

08-14-2003, 08:24 AM
Dir. by Damon Packard
Behind the scenes of George Lucas's newest entry in the Star Wars epic, Star Wars, Episode II: The Heretic, we get an insight into the legend that is George Lucas. A brilliant filmmaker who's career has spanned decades until his untimely paradoxial death in 1977. An undaunted man with a distinct vision, a dispassionate monster who has lost touch with reality. A man whose insensitivity to the outside world, influenced by the mannerisms of insane and manic homeless black people.

"Angry black men have a major influence on George." we are told by one of his crew, after editing some tape of a staggering black man swinging an axe around in a back alley. We find out that many of George's digital creations are inspired by the movements of these poor wretches, and that Rudy Ray Moore's Dolemite is the main inspiration to the aliens of Star Wars.

George isn't even portrayed as a perfectionist in Damon Packard's mockumentary, in fact he is portrayed as someone who truly has lost sight on reality. A deleted opening scene to the mockumentary cleverly uses a scene from Apocalypse Now, where instead of the disembodied voice of Marlon Brando, we hear over a reel-to-reel George talking about how he could never have made Star Wars without digital characters, disturbing Martin Sheen very much.

Sort of a follow-up to Packard's last feature, Reflections of Evil, we begin by following some very familiar territory. Even the opening logo is brilliant as we are greeted by a haggard Tony Curtis who once again praises the brilliance of Packard and his work in such films as Lolita's Revenge where Packard cleverly edits himself into the Lolita trailer.

Practically every shot, other than Packard's own wraparound shots, are stolen copyrighted material. For instance, when one of the animator's asks about the personality of one of the characters, George says "Think Ernest Borgnine" and it cuts directly to a shot from The Devil's Rain. An interview with Christopher Lee is redubbed, as Lee owes his ability to do swordfights to HGH, a wonderful product he discovered on the Art Bell show. Behind the scenes pyrotechnic engineers are creating some of the fantastic explosions by filming a close-up of a remote-control car and someone shooting confetti poppers at it. Or the E.T. head filled with blood and gore, which is supposed to cover the camera in goo, instead incinerates one of the crew. Lucas's minions are brainwashed everyday by chanting "CGI rules." All of this interchanging with scenes from Blade Runner, other 70's films, or hardcore pornography.

This movie has such a seething, slow-burning anger behind it. It is the cinematic equivilent of forcing a dog's nose into it's own urine. "George! Look what you did! Look what you did!"

Damon Packard Strikes Back!

08-14-2003, 08:34 AM
Nice one McC!

08-14-2003, 01:25 PM
Great review MC. I wanna see this bad.

It is the cinematic equivilent of forcing a dog's nose into it's own urine. "George! Look what you did! Look what you did!"

:lol: :lol: Sounds excellent!

08-14-2003, 01:28 PM
:lol: :lol: Very funny. I'd pay to see it!

08-14-2003, 09:44 PM
He hasn't released it on DVD yet, his finances are going to shit. Still, one of the few VHS purchases I was willing to make.