Hitcher In The Dark (1989)

[Hellbilly]

Oh my. This film was a blast. That is, if you like bad dialogue, bad acting, cheesy attempts at sleaze, hair-raising melodrama, minimal gore and one of the lamest psycho's to hit the screen in cinema history - then HITCHER IN THE DARK might be right up your alley.


Let's see, some spoiled rich kid goes on a murder spree picking up young female hitch-hikers with his big ass camper. He drugs them with spiked soda, takes pictures of them undressed while they are lying unconscious on a bed ... then he slits their throats and dumps their corpses in a swamp.
Snack time for the local Alligators.

So one day while cruising a camp site he spotts a blonde chick dancing (to horrible music) infront of a bunch of people (hilarious scene!).
After being told by two girls that he 'looks like a fag anyway' - because he refuses to drive them to a Madonna (?) concert - he follows blonde chick who's about to run away from her cheating boyfriend.
He offers her a ride, a spiked soda ... and a slap in the face.

SLAP!

Honestly, I've never seen a movie where people get slapped in the face that many times. Psycho-boy slaps blonde chick, blonde chick slaps psycho-boy. Blonde chicks boyfriend gets slapped by some guy. Psycho-boy slaps blonde chicks boyfriend. Blonde chicks tries to escape and gets slapped by psycho-boy. Slap, bang, ouch!

And it never stops :D

Anyways, psycho-boy keeps blonde chick hostage in his big ass camper because she reminds him of his own mother. You see, psycho-boy's Mom was a Russian tennis playing pro (I think) and ran off with her lover back to Russia when psycho-boy was nothing but a kid. The kid never got over that. Made him snap.
So psycho-boy cuts off blonde chicks blonde hair and dyes them black. Just like his Mom's.
Will the now black haired chick escape psycho-boy and his damn camper?
Watch the movie and you'll know ;)

Other stuff to look out for:

Framed picture of the Russian Mother.
Sudden violent outbursts by Psycho-boy.
Miss Wet T-Shirt contest.
Soda served in a thermos.
Boobies.
'PIG' carved with a knife into Blonde chicks boyfriend's chest.
Sleazy polaroid snapshots.
One Alligator.

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00008QSB6.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

Shriek Show released this Umberto Lenzi "classic" on DVD not too long ago.

Video: There might be slivers of picture missing since Shriek Show apparently fucked up the correct aspect ratio.There are a few scenes with heads cut off though but that didn't really bother me actually. However, it's 16:9 enhanced and looked marvelous on my 16:9 rear projector.

Audio: The usual 2.0 mono track. Not good but not very bad either.

Extras: Umberto Lenzi Interview and three trailers.

[RyanPC]

Great review, Helly. This one looks like it's right up my alley. SLAP! :D

[Andrew]

I didn't think this one was too bad. I had a good time with it, and there were some hilarious moments. The transfer was very good, I agree, except for moments were some things shimmered. I don't know the technical term for it or anything, but that was the only problem I noticed.

[DefJeff]

Nice review Helly, I didn't pick it up immediatly because of the supposed framing issues, but after talking to you about how it looked and reading the review, I think I will go ahead and buy it.

[onebyone]

if you like bad dialogue, bad acting, cheesy attempts at sleaze, hair-raising melodrama, minimal gore and one of the lamest "psycho's" to hit the screen in cinema history

It is like you are speaking right to me. Sound hilarious, count me in. At any rate, if this movie is 1/2 as funny as your review, I am all set.

[Hellbilly]

Thanks for the replies ya'll :)

I'm no expert so somebody prove me wrong, but I don't think this film was a "giallo" :confused:

[Zodiac-Mindwarp]

Great review Helly!

I have had this sitting on the shelf for a couple of months, and have not gotten around to it yet. It sounds like something that I will really enjoy when I finally watch it. :)

[onebyone]

Hellbilly, I just had the best time watching this movie. I was laughing from very early on and I never, ever stopped. It was like when brats attack. She was a brat. He was a brat. Let the slap fight begin! At one point, I swear it looked like he was slapping her with socks. How could I not just laugh my ass off at that? He is so a candidate for the worst killer ever, and a clear winner on the one with the geekiest wardrobe. I can't believe I missed out on this movie for so long. I may make up for lost time by rewatching it tomorrow because, for a proud bad cinema lover, it doesn't get much better than that.

[Hellbilly]

Whew!

I'm glad you enjoyed this onebyone, I really am :)

[dwatts]

I caught up with this one tonight. It's good because yes it's bad, but you never once want to turn it off. It tries so hard to be shocking and sleazy, but the whole time it's just lame.... in a good way that is.

How much vodka do you think gets drunk in this thing? And how come a huge camper is able to trap two people running away on foot - through a dense forest?

But yeah, a fun little film that isn't likely to offend much of anyone. The trailer for it (included here) is bloody awful. For once I get to say - the film is way better than the trailer.

Oh, and I really like the cover.