View Full Version : Boll-ing for Columbine

03-03-2005, 06:14 PM
Proving that teenagers are still capable of making educated decisions about movies, ALONE IN THE DARK came and went in theaters without notice. The film, by Ed Wood protégé, Uwe Boll, will try its luck a second time on DVD on May 10th. Retailing for $27.98, the disc will be surprisingly filled with extra material. Here is what to expect:

Anamorphic widescreen
Dolby Digital 5.1 EX
DTS 6.1 ES
Commentary with Uwe Boll
"Into the Dark: The Making of Alone in the Dark" featurette
"Shedding a Light" visual effects featurette
A trivia track
Music videos
Storyboard to film comparisons

Certainly more extras than the film deserves, Boll fans should eat up the words of wisdom from the cinema's premiere videogame auteur. Thanks to DVDAnswers for the news.

03-03-2005, 06:19 PM
I anticipate this like my impending heart-failure.
Oh joy!

03-03-2005, 06:57 PM
Was this movie really that bad? I haven't seen any Uwe Boll movies but keep hearing how much this guy sucks. So how bad was it?

Alone in the Dark was so bad, that...

03-03-2005, 08:15 PM
I laughed, and shed a tear or two. In fact I think I might have tinkled a little by accident. Everything about it is bad.

03-03-2005, 08:31 PM
I'll probably wait a year until it hits the $5.50 bin then I MIGHT give it a try. :D

03-03-2005, 09:52 PM
The commentary alone will be worth some money. Boll’s commentaries rock, especially since he still believes that his flicks have things like “great action scenes” or “intense atmosphere”.

03-04-2005, 01:23 AM
Maybe if they were paying people $27.98 to take the DVD I would get a copy and throw it away on my way out the door .

03-04-2005, 03:23 AM
I will buy it at Hollywood Video as a previous viewed title, which probably will take awhile because nobody wants to see this movie anyway. Even though it sucked it made me laugh, and I'll buy this just to laugh. I mean why does this dvd have so much stuff? How do they have a visual effects featurette anyway? Didnt they do those like 5 days before the movie hit theaters.
-Director Commentary=hillarious
-Making Alone in the Dark=hillarious
-Visual Effects featurette=hillarious
-Trivia track(WTF?)=HILLARIOUS
-Storyboards=well we'll see

03-04-2005, 04:21 AM
I'll probably wait for cable--HOUSE OF THE DEAD is currently in heavy rotation on Showtime, the worst movie channel on earth. If ALONE IN THE DARK is even half as funny as HOUSE OF THE DEAD it will be great entertainment. HOUSE OF THE DEAD was probably the first movie I've seen in years that was such bad movie gold.

Erick H.
03-04-2005, 07:22 AM
I can't believe CRITERION didn't snap this one up ! :0)

03-05-2005, 10:57 PM
I just saw House of the Dead a few weeks ago, I couldn't believe what a mess that movie was. It also has some of the most boring action sequences I've ever seen. Putting back to back 360 rotations (which only move on one axis) around someone just standing pointing a gun in front of them is not "action packed," and just emphazies your continity errors like weapons instantly morphing from axes to guns or handguns to rifes. I can picture Ed Wood in my mind just thinking about that stuff, "Haven't you ever heard of suspension of disbelief?"

I haven't seen Alone in the Dark, but from the trailers Bloodrayne looks to be worst 2.35:1 framing I've ever seen. And it has such a "made for TV" look to it, very flat lighting.

03-06-2005, 01:46 AM
$27.95?! Does it include sexual favors from Tara Ried?

03-07-2005, 06:48 AM
I am so going to rent this when it comes out!!! pure comic gold baby!!
I remember when House of the Dead first came out, every store that had it was charging over $40 for it. then it dropped down to $35, then down to $28...now they're giving it away with the purchase of a lube job.
actually it's still around $20-30 new. Canadian prices that is.

03-08-2005, 02:16 AM
Just got done watching this and can't believe someone pays this dude to make movies.
I was laughing a lot though, so I guess it's got some value. From the D/L I got the 2 people in the theater were laughing right along with me!
I might grab the dvd when it's under $6, but not for a penny over! In fact, it'll go on the library list. I'll just wanna listen to the comm. and hear how someone's warpped mind can possibly say how good this is.
A review came to mind during the ending scenes, 7 words: Makes House Of The Dead Look Good!

03-08-2005, 03:36 AM
My favorite review for this movie goes something like this - "Praising Alone in the Dark for not being House of the Dead is like praising Sifilis for not being AIDS"

03-15-2005, 12:28 PM
Oh yes, a Boll commentary track! Can't wait!