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Old 01-16-2013, 09:00 PM   #118
ImmortalSlasher
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: In a dark moonlit forest.
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Here's my Cabin in the Woods review posted on the other horror forum. People seem to have forgotten about this one. Or maybe I was just too late. Let's see if anyone here still wants to chat about it.


SPOILERS!!! (Just in case)















I was looking forward to this one. Iím a big fan of Buffy and was hoping for a real good horror movie. It turns out this is like Scream and basically a commentary on why all horror movie rules and themes are tired and overused. It actually gives a reason for it! Which is kind of interesting because depending on your point of view, the viewer could be one of two groups in the movie. But Scream is better as an actual movie. Because itís more than a just a commentary on horror movies but a good movie too. Something like the Starz ďGoing to PiecesĒ special will explain just as much if not more about the workings of horror movies than Cabin in the Woods. So the only real reason to watch Cabin in the Woods for repeated viewings is to pick out all the references in the basement, control room, elevator, and final scenes. Cabin in the Woods really is a love / hate horror movie tale. But it is more hate or tired of this stuff it seems. They show that even nine year old Japanese girls can defeat the ghost girl. The whole movie makes fun of the old and tired plots but they donít make anything new until the ending minutes. And even then itís a big tease. Itís not really scary but thatís part of the joke too. That this stuff isnít scary anymore.

For all the secrecy of this movie, I was surprised that the twist was revealed in the titles and opening minutes. I thought that maybe the monsters were virtual because of force field and how it was shown on posters. But they were real monsters and even explained! The movie reminded me of the old Night Trap videogame where the player would basically watch kids in a house and save them (if they wanted to) from vampires (I think). The bad guys were always people dressed in black from what I remember.

Cabin in the Woods did miss one of my favorite horror tropes of having the villain use victims bodies at end, which you think would happen with the blood sacrifice. I think thatís a flaw since the actual bodies are never collected for the blood sacrifice. You would think that there would be a collection crew picking up the bodies similar to the clean up crew mentioned concerning the merman. And with these crews, why arenít they prepared to handle the monsters? Since this happens every year, I assume the majority of monsters have to be returned to their cages.

The best scenes to me were with the blonde girl. Her make out with the wolf and sadly short fireplace dance. That should have been stretched out like the dance in Death Proof. I like the Stoner character and his early dialog in the van explains the ending decision. Many of his lines are great, especially his introduction scene about the cops fearing his ďtype.Ē Also the dialog about ďdrawing a lineĒ over reading the book in the basement.

I didnít like the ending that much. I thought for all the attempt at something creative and new, basically saying something worse is out there and leaving it to a sequel is a cop out. I was waiting for the movie to be a movie and it ends at that point. I agree with the Stoner, I would like to see the ďAncient OnesĒ as large statues have always freaked me out since I was a kid. Iíve seen tons of ancient civilization statues in museums and other countries. Some modern large statues are kind of scary too. I visited the Awakening statue in DC a long time ago when they still had it in its original location. I didnít want to go near the thing. It is just like the last scene in Cabin in the Woods although a bit smaller. So the movie was kind of a miss to me. But I would watch that sequel if it ever happened.


Questions - Something I wasnít quite sure of. Does only one ritual worldwide need to be successful? You would think there would be more panic in the control room if what we are seeing is the last attempt before the ďAncient OnesĒ are revived.

Also, was anyone else slightly disappointed by the final "Ancient Ones" chamber. This could have referenced tons of old Gods with all their huge temples and giant statues. Maybe the budget wasn't high enough. I thought that would have been cool if the survivors realize that all those old Gods were just contained before the final surprise character dialog.






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