Mini Review for Garden of the Dead. this is my first review so please read.

Wez4555 · 06-08-2002, 09:28 PM

This is my first review I've ever done. So please hang in there I know I suck but I will get better I hope.

Review By Wes Verner aka Wez4555

This is a mini review for Garden of the Dead. Garden of the Dead is about some prison imitates that always get high on formaldehyde. Then later in the movie some of them try to escape the prison camp and end up getting shot to death. Then they are buried and come back to life to kill everything living in the camp.

What to say about this movie…hmm well first of all IT SUCKS ASS! There is nothing good about it. On the back of the cover it says not for the faint of heart. Also it says “weed wacker massacre” and something like “death by a garden hoe”. Well I saw none of these things. I know it’s meant to be a B movie but it sucks at that to. There’s no nudity, hardly any blood, and its not even funny. The story is completely stupid and the acting is horrible. Stay away far away!

Image: It appears to be in 1.66:1 Widescreen. I doubt that was the way this was shot so it’s probably matted. Anyway the picture is between bad and terrible. Now I know a movie this old and this low budget isn’t going to look shocking but this does look bad. There’s scratches and dirt and holes everywhere. Toward the middle of the movie it gets better but the whole movie has a washed out faded look to it.

Audio: Well I don’t have sound system and it was like 1am when I watched this but I bet the movie is in mono. Doesn’t matter anyway cause it doesn’t sound very good. A few areas there’s popping but not as bad as the image department.

Extras: Nothing really. It is only about $10 at best buy, so I didn’t expect much. You get an intro by some fool that tells you that your probably going to put your foot threw the screen before this movie is over. Then he says that would hurt your foot so he has someone throw a bowling ball threw a TV. Sure its stupid but he was right and should of takin his word for it. The only other thing is a trailer. I figured it would be a trailer to this movie but then when you choose it and message shows that its not for this movie but for another movie called Grave of the Vampire. The trailer is boring and it looks like complete crap. There’s thick red grain threw the whole thing…yes I said red grain. It pops and jumps and is horrible. Some real crappy extras to a crappy movie.

Final Thoughts: Don’t waste your money on this shit. This is my first retro media disc and I wasn’t pleased with it. The back cover made it sound good but it ends up sucking big time. Inless for some reason you’re a fan of this movie, stay far away. I got one to called the Brides Wore Blood. Hopefully it’s better. I'll post a review for that later.

06-08-2002, 09:37 PM

Hah! That was on my DVDs to buy list. Thanks for saving me some cash. I know if you couldn't find a single thing to like about it, it must not be worth seeing. A lot of times though I like to know what a reviewer's favorite movies are so I'll know if I have anything in common with them. I've read reviewers say movies like Cannibal Ferox suck ass when thier good as hell to me then I know not to take that persons reviews too seriously.
Adrian Mims

06-08-2002, 09:41 PM

I bought the VHS version of this film about 7 years ago, but it had a tape of Night of the living dead in it. I think it was a sign.....

Wez4555 · 06-08-2002, 09:41 PM

should of said that. since is a b movie..my fav. b movies are: redneck zombies, dead alive, bad taste just to name a few. im a big fan of good b movies so dont think i took it seriously haha.

06-08-2002, 10:39 PM

Quote:

should of said that. since is a b movie..my fav. b movies are: redneck zombies, dead alive, bad taste just to name a few. im a big fan of good b movies so dont think i took it seriously haha.

Okay, I really liked all of these so I'm sure I would have the same opinion as you on "Garden.."!

I still couldn't help but to buy "Garden..." If I ever heard anyone say anything good about it.
Adrian Mims

Jeremy · 06-08-2002, 11:40 PM

Quote:

I bought the VHS version of this film about 7 years ago, but it had a tape of Night of the living dead in it.

No kidding? That happenned to you too?

Wez4555 · 06-09-2002, 03:19 AM

does anyone else have comments/problems with my review? i want to try to inprove and get better so one day i can review on this site. so any comments are welcome.

06-09-2002, 03:53 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Wez4555
does anyone else have comments/problems with my review? i want to try to inprove and get better so one day i can review on this site. so any comments are welcome.

Well...when reviewing a movie try not to use comments like "it sucks ass".

Also try to describe the movie more and go a little more into detail about what it is about.

Wez4555 · 06-09-2002, 04:16 AM

yeah the whole sucks ass thing wouldnt be said if i was reviewing for someone else. as for detail thats about as detailed as it can get. theres nothing to the movie..after all its only a little shy under 1 hour. but thanks for the comments.

06-09-2002, 05:38 PM

The movie is not a gore fest or anything, but it's a fun little drive-in flick that I enjoyed, even though it wasn't that great. The trailer for Grave of The Vampire was awesome, and that's a much better film than Garden of The Dead. Hopefully that movie will get a DVD release sooner or later.

Jeremy · 06-09-2002, 11:47 PM

Advice to Bruce H:

Perhaps you should learn to give critcism without using the smarmy, "I know everything because I work with the DVD industry" tone. Your two posts were extremely uncalled for.

This thread is closed. I have zero patience for any more of this.

Dave · 06-11-2002, 12:16 AM

I'm reopening this thread. Wez doesn't deserve to have his thread closed because of Bruce H being immature.

Wez: Your review is just fine for a first review. Don't let Bruce turn you off to reviewing. Actually, posting user reviews on the forum is a good idea. If you or other people want to start doing it more often, I'll create a 'User Reviews' forum or something. Readers have requested a area on the site to post 'user reviews' in, so why not the forum? Makes sense to me.

Bruce: What's your problem? Can you give feedback without name calling? If so, then great - please start doing so. If you can't, then leave. I'm not asking you not to criticize, so don't start with any censorship rants. I'm asking you to do it in a somewhat polite manner. See Trout's response for an example.

I removed the unnecessary posts from this read. Lets keep this on-topic from this point on.

Wez4555 · 06-11-2002, 02:01 AM

thanks dave! a readers review forum is a good idea!

06-11-2002, 04:05 AM

oops I posted a few comments about your review in the other thread dont worry I didnt rake you over the coles, there always has to be a first review

anyways check out this review for the same film Garden Of The Dead Review at dvddrive-in

Wez4555 · 06-11-2002, 05:30 AM

thanks skinnypuppy! that was a good lil review.

06-08-2002, 09:28 PM	#1
Wez4555 Happy Trees Motherfucker! Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Dirty South, Louisiana Posts: 2,953	Mini Review for Garden of the Dead. this is my first review so please read. This is my first review I've ever done. So please hang in there I know I suck but I will get better I hope. Review By Wes Verner aka Wez4555 This is a mini review for Garden of the Dead. Garden of the Dead is about some prison imitates that always get high on formaldehyde. Then later in the movie some of them try to escape the prison camp and end up getting shot to death. Then they are buried and come back to life to kill everything living in the camp. What to say about this movie…hmm well first of all IT SUCKS ASS! There is nothing good about it. On the back of the cover it says not for the faint of heart. Also it says “weed wacker massacre” and something like “death by a garden hoe”. Well I saw none of these things. I know it’s meant to be a B movie but it sucks at that to. There’s no nudity, hardly any blood, and its not even funny. The story is completely stupid and the acting is horrible. Stay away far away! Image: It appears to be in 1.66:1 Widescreen. I doubt that was the way this was shot so it’s probably matted. Anyway the picture is between bad and terrible. Now I know a movie this old and this low budget isn’t going to look shocking but this does look bad. There’s scratches and dirt and holes everywhere. Toward the middle of the movie it gets better but the whole movie has a washed out faded look to it. Audio: Well I don’t have sound system and it was like 1am when I watched this but I bet the movie is in mono. Doesn’t matter anyway cause it doesn’t sound very good. A few areas there’s popping but not as bad as the image department. Extras: Nothing really. It is only about $10 at best buy, so I didn’t expect much. You get an intro by some fool that tells you that your probably going to put your foot threw the screen before this movie is over. Then he says that would hurt your foot so he has someone throw a bowling ball threw a TV. Sure its stupid but he was right and should of takin his word for it. The only other thing is a trailer. I figured it would be a trailer to this movie but then when you choose it and message shows that its not for this movie but for another movie called Grave of the Vampire. The trailer is boring and it looks like complete crap. There’s thick red grain threw the whole thing…yes I said red grain. It pops and jumps and is horrible. Some real crappy extras to a crappy movie. Final Thoughts: Don’t waste your money on this shit. This is my first retro media disc and I wasn’t pleased with it. The back cover made it sound good but it ends up sucking big time. Inless for some reason you’re a fan of this movie, stay far away. I got one to called the Brides Wore Blood. Hopefully it’s better. I'll post a review for that later. Last edited by Wez4555; 06-08-2002 at 09:48 PM.

06-09-2002, 05:38 PM	#10
razorbackattack Guest Posts: n/a	hey, I dug it! The movie is not a gore fest or anything, but it's a fun little drive-in flick that I enjoyed, even though it wasn't that great. The trailer for Grave of The Vampire was awesome, and that's a much better film than Garden of The Dead. Hopefully that movie will get a DVD release sooner or later.

06-11-2002, 12:16 AM	#12
Dave Pimp Join Date: Sep 1999 Location: Newton, NH Posts: 6,185	I'm reopening this thread. Wez doesn't deserve to have his thread closed because of Bruce H being immature. Wez: Your review is just fine for a first review. Don't let Bruce turn you off to reviewing. Actually, posting user reviews on the forum is a good idea. If you or other people want to start doing it more often, I'll create a 'User Reviews' forum or something. Readers have requested a area on the site to post 'user reviews' in, so why not the forum? Makes sense to me. Bruce: What's your problem? Can you give feedback without name calling? If so, then great - please start doing so. If you can't, then leave. I'm not asking you not to criticize, so don't start with any censorship rants. I'm asking you to do it in a somewhat polite manner. See Trout's response for an example. I removed the unnecessary posts from this read. Lets keep this on-topic from this point on. __________________ Horror Digital Amazon Link

06-11-2002, 04:05 AM	#14
skinnypuppy6 Guest Posts: n/a	Wez: oops I posted a few comments about your review in the other thread dont worry I didnt rake you over the coles, there always has to be a first review anyways check out this review for the same film Garden Of The Dead Review at dvddrive-in

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06-08-2002, 09:37 PM	#2
Atmims Guest Posts: n/a	Hah! That was on my DVDs to buy list. Thanks for saving me some cash. I know if you couldn't find a single thing to like about it, it must not be worth seeing. A lot of times though I like to know what a reviewer's favorite movies are so I'll know if I have anything in common with them. I've read reviewers say movies like Cannibal Ferox suck ass when thier good as hell to me then I know not to take that persons reviews too seriously. Adrian Mims

06-08-2002, 09:41 PM	#3
Trout Guest Posts: n/a	I bought the VHS version of this film about 7 years ago, but it had a tape of Night of the living dead in it. I think it was a sign.....

06-09-2002, 03:19 AM	#7
Wez4555 Happy Trees Motherfucker! Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Dirty South, Louisiana Posts: 2,953	does anyone else have comments/problems with my review? i want to try to inprove and get better so one day i can review on this site. so any comments are welcome.

06-09-2002, 04:16 AM	#9
Wez4555 Happy Trees Motherfucker! Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Dirty South, Louisiana Posts: 2,953	yeah the whole sucks ass thing wouldnt be said if i was reviewing for someone else. as for detail thats about as detailed as it can get. theres nothing to the movie..after all its only a little shy under 1 hour. but thanks for the comments.

06-09-2002, 11:47 PM	#11
Jeremy Closet SCREAM fan Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 844	Advice to Bruce H: Perhaps you should learn to give critcism without using the smarmy, "I know everything because I work with the DVD industry" tone. Your two posts were extremely uncalled for. This thread is closed. I have zero patience for any more of this.

06-11-2002, 02:01 AM	#13
Wez4555 Happy Trees Motherfucker! Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Dirty South, Louisiana Posts: 2,953	thanks dave! a readers review forum is a good idea!

06-11-2002, 05:30 AM	#15
Wez4555 Happy Trees Motherfucker! Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Dirty South, Louisiana Posts: 2,953	thanks skinnypuppy! that was a good lil review.